Stalking Shelf Elf

    Hey y'all, Copper here. Sorry if I have some type O's I can't really see my computer's key board, I'm blogging in the closet... well.. I'm kind of hiding in the closet, but I'm not scared...... much.  Why are you hiding in a closet? You ask, well my dear Elf on the shelf is stalking me. Yep, that's the cold hard truth. My Elf's name is Sprinkles, he has brown plastic hair, eyes that are a color not found in nature ( well maybe out in North Pole nature), a face as creepy as the Santa Christmas wreath on Home Alone, and an outfit that I'm not quit sure if they are his Christmas jammies or regular clothes. Yes, I know he sounds scary, but what has he done for you to say he is stalking you? Well, my guilty pleasureS is barking at the UPS guy, bicyclist, the neighbor, the mail man, and that annoying cat who lives across the road. I know, I know.. I have a lot of guilty pleasures that aren't very nice, but not enough to get me on the naughty list "live on the edge" that's what I always say. Anyways, whenever I go outside to bark at my neighbor getting her mail, that thing somehow gets in the window seal and watches me.. HOW?!?! I have taken that creep to the doctors office, had second and third opinions and they all say the same thing... Sprinkles is plastic. So if he's plastic how does he get off the shelf and watch me? Ugg the Doctors are no help, I am sick and tired of them all giving me cards for therapy and calling every other day seeing if I am at an insane asylum, I even had one doc send me a strait jacket for Christmas. Ooooh, let him just wait and see what I send him for Christmas.. mabahlllaha (evil laugh). But this elf stuff has happened lots of times. The other day I was out barking at the UPS man, after he gave me my package and ran away, I looked in the window there he was! Plastic pasty self and all. It's quit unsettling! I have no idea about what to do, he was a gift from my Grandma, and when she comes over she always has to check in on Sprinkles to see how he's doing.. no wonder Sprinkles is the way he is, he had to live with her all those years. Well, hopefully I will get my little problem taken care of soon. See y'all next week. Merry Christmas!!