Random Chocolate Rant

  Hey everybody, Copper here. Warning: Random rant coming! Ugg you humans, who's wise idea was it to spread the rumor that dogs can't have chocolate? I'll tell you who thought of it, a mean old Oreo hog of a human thought of it. All I want is some fudge, Oreos, snickers, and good old Swiss chocolate. I know, for someone who has never had chocolate you sure do know a lot about it. And another thing, you people have no IDEA what us dogs eat! When you open the door for us to "go potty" us dogs "go hunting"..... and potty too. But that's beside the point, when us dogs go outside we find stuff that would give you humans a massive tummy ache. Let me put it this way, when you decide to clean out your refrigerator and you find a massively expired almost unrecognizable chicken who do you give it to? The dog! that's who, and does it bother us? Nope! So maybe chocolate is poison to people!! Just food for thought... or should I say chocolate for thought. Think about it :) Well, I hope y'all have a good week see ya later.

Open Season!

     Hey Y'all! Copper here, Happy Happy Spring!! I just love spring. With the flowers, the sun, the trees with blossoms on them, and best of all it's the season for bicyclist! You know, the little skinny people in spandex on those strange things with wheels that ride past my yard! I think they are called bicycles. I'm sooo exited because right now till May the bicyclist wearing spandex are in season the ones wearing shorts don't come in till June, then in July all bicyclist, motorcyclist, and pedestrians are in season. Just wanted to give all y'all dogs out their a heads up so you know. Oh, and I know with all of the bicyclist and stuff coming out it is easy to forget about the mailman, UPS guy,Fed- X, ect. but remember they're all trying to get into your yard! So don't let them get in. And don't worry about getting a bone fine. They are in season all year long. Oh REALLY important! If you try to run off a Jehovah's Witnesses till October it is a 100 milk bone fine!! Enjoy the barking of the bicycles! Happy Spring!

My modling career

    Hey everyone, it's me Copper! As all the classy people know, a beagle won the Westminster Dog Show. Yea, yea good for Miss P... or as I like to call her Miss Pee- Pee ( I can't help it :) she kind of walked into that one) Anyways, I am happy for her. After all, I am part beagle so in a way it is as if part of ME one the Westminster Dog Show. However, if they had a Southminster Dog Show I would clearly be the champion. There would be absolutely be no competition at all! Well for me. After all I am an exotic breed... with the style and sass of an adorable Chihuahua and the wondrous class and grace of a beautified beagle. I would .... I AM unstoppable!! I can sashay like nobody's business. I clearly own the Wal-Mart chip section runway. So if you ever hear of a Southminster Dog Show opening up in NC buy your tickets early. Because with me modeling. they will go fast!














                                    

Phone Rules

     Hey! it's me Copper, I hope everybody had a very Merry Christmas! I did, oh and if you were wondering my little elf on the shelf problem is taken care of. I put him in a box until next year :) any ways, Everyone I know got new phones for Christmas, and no offense they have no idea how to work them. As most of  y'all know I am a Professional Consultant, hold up.. back it up... I am a Professional Consultant and a Humble Media Expert... yes, there is such a thing, and if you follow all of the rules of phones I have written down for y'all, you will become a Humble Media Expert, such as myself. So follow the rules of the Techno gismos, and learn the ways of the many phone rules.


Rules:




   #1 Don't call your smart phone smart, until you yell "Where is my phone?" and it answers, "I'm right here in your pocket"


    #2  Don't be like your iPhone and loose energy without doing anything


   #3  Nothing says you stink with technology and taking pictures more than a sideways profile picture


   #4 NEVER let your phone know you are in a hurry... or it will never load


   #5 emojis are teeny little ninja warriors that keep the internet safe


   #6 Instagram is NOT chiness take out! ( *sniff* you always learn things the hard way:( )


   #7 unfortunately Facebook does not have my face on it


   #8 ALWAYS pay attention to the person you are sending a txt to BEFORE you hit send, or if you are another Albert Einstein out there, please make a don't send button.


  #9 Never eat potato salad, ya never know when you might butt dial somebody (if ya get what I'm sayin')


 #10 here are some of the REAL meanings to texting lingo:


lol: lots of liver


smh: supper, mighty, hotdogs


brb: burp, rip, barf


cul8r: Chihuahua up late rejoicing
afaic: as far as I'm Copper
afaict: as far as I can toot




 Well I hope the rules of phones helps you out a lot, Happy New Year!! See y'all next week, follow all the rules and you might be as humble as me on being a media expert.

Stalking Shelf Elf

    Hey y'all, Copper here. Sorry if I have some type O's I can't really see my computer's key board, I'm blogging in the closet... well.. I'm kind of hiding in the closet, but I'm not scared...... much.  Why are you hiding in a closet? You ask, well my dear Elf on the shelf is stalking me. Yep, that's the cold hard truth. My Elf's name is Sprinkles, he has brown plastic hair, eyes that are a color not found in nature ( well maybe out in North Pole nature), a face as creepy as the Santa Christmas wreath on Home Alone, and an outfit that I'm not quit sure if they are his Christmas jammies or regular clothes. Yes, I know he sounds scary, but what has he done for you to say he is stalking you? Well, my guilty pleasureS is barking at the UPS guy, bicyclist, the neighbor, the mail man, and that annoying cat who lives across the road. I know, I know.. I have a lot of guilty pleasures that aren't very nice, but not enough to get me on the naughty list "live on the edge" that's what I always say. Anyways, whenever I go outside to bark at my neighbor getting her mail, that thing somehow gets in the window seal and watches me.. HOW?!?! I have taken that creep to the doctors office, had second and third opinions and they all say the same thing... Sprinkles is plastic. So if he's plastic how does he get off the shelf and watch me? Ugg the Doctors are no help, I am sick and tired of them all giving me cards for therapy and calling every other day seeing if I am at an insane asylum, I even had one doc send me a strait jacket for Christmas. Ooooh, let him just wait and see what I send him for Christmas.. mabahlllaha (evil laugh). But this elf stuff has happened lots of times. The other day I was out barking at the UPS man, after he gave me my package and ran away, I looked in the window there he was! Plastic pasty self and all. It's quit unsettling! I have no idea about what to do, he was a gift from my Grandma, and when she comes over she always has to check in on Sprinkles to see how he's doing.. no wonder Sprinkles is the way he is, he had to live with her all those years. Well, hopefully I will get my little problem taken care of soon. See y'all next week. Merry Christmas!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

      
         Hey yall it's me, Copper, Happy Thanksgiving! Every year it's just the same ole' same ole', you go and say what  you're thankful for, eat turkey, go see long lost relatives you thought where dead a long time ago, then spend the rest of the day putting chloroform in your pant pockets for Black Friday shopping. But what really happened that very first Thanksgiving?... We all know,... we hear the story every year. I'm talking about the first ever Copper Family Thanksgiving. Well, assuming you're not a Copper I will tell you about that not yet famous Copper Family, first ever Thanksgiving!


   So, in the year of 1620, the Copper Family set sail for America! Why? you ask... well, lets just say the Copper Family left for America because they had some eating habits that some how made the other people starve... so the King had to limit their food, ect, ect, so the Copper Family had enough! We wanted to eat when we wanted to eat, we didn't want some King limiting our food. And the regular people where having trouble on their own and were talking about moving to another place. So we thought why not us? some naked mole rats who were friends of the family, had discovered a new world called Suppercallaworts, (swahili was the native Copper language) but since the family just took up learning  English we decided to call it America! We set sail on a great boat called The King Arthur  Flower.
 
   It took us many hard smelly months to get there, but we made it to America! But when we got there the English beat us. Apparently one of the elderly Coppers was in charge of the map to America and forgot it then we got lost... then the English found the map, followed it and made it there before us. The English people had been their for awhile, they already been through those diseases that always wipe out new settlers, made friends with the Indians, and had nice little wood houses. I guess us getting lost and going to china was a little farther than a couple months away. But either way we made it just in time, yup... we were welcomed to our new home with the first Thanksgiving supper!
 
  Well, that's the true first Thanksgiving story! Hope you liked it, and hope you have a good Thanksgiving!!

Happy National Dog Day!

 

  Hey yall, Copper here! Time to show that you are a true American and celebrate National Dog Day! Yep, it's today... if you are like most of the people in this fair country who call your selves "Americans" you have probably never heard of National Dog Day, or you are more interested in National Hamburger Day. Why on earth do you people want to celebrate hamburger day more than dog day? Not that there is anything wrong with hamburgers... I love them dearly, just look at my cholesterol chart. But why celebrate a meat that doesn't even know who it is, I mean it's beef not ham and it's name is so close to booger.. eww, so why give a heartless slab of e coli such praise instead of the animals that carved this country from our own paws? And even if you do celebrate National Dog Day you somehow manage to make it about you instead of your dog. *Example* you take a picture of you furry friend and post it on Facebook, twitter, ect. and before long people are saying how good of an owner you are and absolutely nothing about poor Fyfe the poodle. It's just like on your birthday and someone always has to say how old they feel to try to make it about them. So, I say let it go Elsa, to the dogs! In Observant of Dog Day, I recommend that the government, all school systems, dog pounds, and routine visits to the vet all closed on National Dog Day! Lets make this year different and really celebrate National Dog Day... oh, and I don't think it would hurt in considering a Copper Day either!... Just a thought... but please consider it if you will :) I guess I will see yall next week, and for the dogs make every day National Dog Day!!